A couple of weeks ago I visited a woman in the hospital who is struggling with alcoholism. She still is. I am still in touch with her...calling her, listening to her cry, trying to speak words of hope. I found her house and tried to visit her, but she never came to the door...was probably asleep. She has relapsed again big time.

Today I felt ... very deeply... the pain of the valley she walks, and my own discouragement and frustration with the body of Christ. She called the church she had been slipping in and out of (that is close to where she is living,) when she was throwing up blood. A fine man took her to the hospital. Our pastor visited her. He told our leadership at the monthly meeting about her and asked us to pray for her. One person talked about some of us visiting her. I visited her. We connected....a couple days later, she went home to a roommate that wasn't sure she wanted to deal with her and her problem any longer.

But the church is no longer there to help. No one has followed up on her since she was released from the hospital. And I cannot be a lone wolf in her life. I need others to come alongside and be there for her...to give her rides, to help her find structure and hope daily. But they aren't. And I feel like they have forgotten her. I know they don't know what to do, or what to say. I understand that.

I am again struggling with the organized church....that sits in comfort, sings pretty songs about Jesus, goes home and thinks about their own junk. At least that's the way it seems from the really wounded person's perspective.

Last night at the Ash Wednesday service at the BWH, we read Isaiah 58:1-12. I wept today as Jenni read it aloud again. Lord, how are we being Jesus with skin on in my struggling friend's life? We aren't.

Isaiah 58:1-12

Shout with the voice of a trumpet blast.
Shout aloud! Don't be timid.
Tell my people Israel of their sins!
Yet they act so pious!
They come to the Temple every day
and seem delighted to learn all about me.
They act like a righteous nation
that would never abandon the laws of its God.
They ask me to take action on their behalf,
pretending they want to be near me.
'We have fasted before you!' they say.
'Why aren't you impressed?'
We have been very hard on ourselves,
and you don't even notice it!'
'I will tell you why!' I respond.
'It's because you are fasting to please yourselves.
Even while you fast,
you keep oppressing your workers.
What good is fasting
when you keep on fighting and quarreling?
This kind of fasting
will never get you anywhere with me.
You humble yourselves
by going through the motions of penance,
bowing your heads
like reeds bending in the wind.
You dress in burlap
and cover yourselves with ashes.
Is this what you call fasting?
Do you really think this will please the Lord?
'No, this is the kind of fasting I want:
Free those who are wrongly imprisoned;
lighten the burden of those who work for you.
Let the oppressed go free,
and remove the chains that bind people.
Share your food with the hungry,
and give shelter to the homeless.
Give clothes to those who need them,
and do not hide from relatives who need your help.
'Then your salvation will come like the dawn,
and your wounds will quickly heal.
Your godliness will lead you forward,
and the glory of the Lord will protect you from behind.
Then when you call, the Lord will answer.
'Yes, I am here,' he will quickly reply.
Remove the heavy yoke of oppression.
Stop pointing your finger and spreading vicious rumors!
Feed the hungry,
and help those in trouble.
Then your light will shine out from the darkness,
and the darkness around you will be as bright as noon.
The Lord will guide you continually,
giving you water when you are dry
and restoring your strength.
You will be like a well-watered garden,
like an ever-flowing spring.
Some of you will rebuild the deserted ruins of your cities.
Then you will be known as a rebuilder of walls
and a restorer of homes.